David Attenborough on the most wonderful but heart breaking staple on the BEEB’s Blue Planet 2 said, “8 million tonnes per year are dumped out to sea”….yes a bugger of a lot and I am seriously wondering where we are all going to end up…and how did we get so mother fucking lazy that we are chronically killing ourselves and our beautiful planet…what is going on and who gets to keep making that fossil fuel shite that is causing so much horror world-wide and not only that, in our food chain its everywhere…no wonder when I came back this time, I had already developed a self-awareness to the destructive marching of greed and grim determination to keep wrecking earth, my home and yet I have passed on DNA ancestral blueprints of resonating energy that holds all records of life.
I came from an upbringing of shame, guilt, misogyny, cruelty and put downs. I was naturally being groomed to become a high res people please and seeker of approving. – perfect material for the unseens or archons.
I thought I was a great mother up to now and yet I feel completely powerless in knowing how the current system is failing and the idea of supporting and waving flags for the hyper-matrix controllers, that require our free will agreeable to the system of ecological collapse and synthetic solutions to a male domination of old paradigm masters that have created through sheer force and hidden occultism a disregard for the health and wellbeing for future generations and our individual self-ability to adapt and become authentic in our gainful passion to soul seek-age as they thrust on their Free Masons, Deep State, Illuminati, Global Agenda mother fuckers…….
We are part of nature, part of that lore, part of that whole individual uprising, and to this do I offer my kin and baby girl a planet filled with nature, diversity, inspiration, community and a totally changed outlook to the current model we are all living under? What have I learned that can impart a strength that her being here is to come out and sweep away the old regime. It is a terrifying prospect and yet somehow, there is a new drum beating from a resonance that those who seek, find.
And so I think back to my own youth- was it any different? Were we just as hemmed in by commerce, and seeking stuff to consume to feed our fragile egos, insecurities. ..In our age there were no mobiles, plug-ins, Apps, gaming, well not really and it allowed for our telepathy and memory to serve us well as we used phone boxes, ran about the streets, lanes, countryside and parks, looking out for something, someone, some show how, and show up as we took on the new world of analogue, taping slowly, deliberately and the crackle and joy of vinyl being loaded up from Tower Records and others all now gone, books, tele-programming Top of the Pops, The Tube, John Peel, Radio Luxembourg with Beatle Hour on the hour, we had it all or so we thought following the light fantastic, kid talks in the play ground what was on Top of the Pops, all down to your own unique tastes. Of course looking back one feel’s the shadows, and lights, photographs, colours, smells, glimpses of a honey hazed pastoral and parochial past. There also seemed to be wildlife, insects, bees, life! In fact there were a lot of natural parts to play in our growing up.
And for me a hearth, a fire.. I was rather a helpless, haphazard, chaotic and went anywhere if someone suggested something. I was ready to go out into the world to make up my life, as I struggle to find Metta’s next stage in her life pathways of a mix of apprenticeships, college, 6th Form, grappling with what do you want to do?? Bumping, crashing, crying, and worrying as to what is it that she must do in order to live a full life? I had no clue that within a matter of months I would be kicked out of the farm, and pushed to find out who what and how do I live a life when my own parents asked me not once, what are you going to do? I knew I wanted to be an actress, and yet I managed by flight and fight to figure out once I came to London I had assets, imagination, youth, enthusiasm! I began an arduous and also wonderful campaign of collecting things, people, boys, parties, adventures, experimenting, squatting, new blasting open society came at a young, slender, auburn haired farmers daughter and yet that I did possess skills that offered up invitations as I cleaned and cooked, grew and learnt to feel my way towards a sparkly innovative illumination carrying sensory preceptors that matched mine. That I could safely lend my own willingness to educate in the unknown growing exponentially. By bringing my open natural countryside ways, I imprinted a newness in my own making and in the mid 80’s London had the magic and fear to push forward to cultural underground happenings. I continuously had all the ingredients to keep making things up as I went along, the recipe book was in itself, new, tribal, active, seeking, exploring, different to anything any of us of our generation, could really say, Woah! We went against the government, Thatcher and her crony capitalist mates on the make for all things privy and privileged.
I was homeless a hundred times or more, like the men I slept with, a hundred times and more, and I kept it going because I was horny, hormonal and mad for the attention. I swirled around a con-vortex that never gave up. Unlike my daughter today who stands in a different mould, though I birthed her, with new knowledge that I have opened in this plutonian era. She emulates all those qualities and defects, upgraded if you will and totally strong from my own standing of that age. Metta-Angel grounds allowing her lashes, questions, to alert my own lacks as she screamed: Mum, I dont know what the fuck I am doing and want to do in my life? School has let her down, her own ability to recognise that school is all about the results and not the teaching, the glorious old role to inspire and educate whilst real learning could happen..
It really started for me in 1987 – the year of the Harmonic ConvergenceAs I stood upon The Tor upon my 21st, I was given lessons to the importance of that unfoldment opening Ancient portals to Ageless Wisdoms promoting the end of the world as we knew. Dualistic patriarchal paradigms have been waning through the crack that opened on the darkest century of man and his entrapment to the Dark Arts against the Great Feminine Devine or Our Great Mother of All We Are, and to allow for full disclosure to expunge all the woundings of secret mastery occults coming to a shadowy surface upon a 25 year period known as the Nano years. This period leading to 2012, heralded Acid House, rave culture, the rise of the internet, data collecting and more dreadful skull duggery to come up and out. I digress. And I think the awakening of the man that seeks.
A time to grow up eventually, and find oneself out in the milieu of self. My generation in that period stopped drinking in lobbyist Public bars, and pubs, whilst we were in fields with fires, dancing together not at the stage but with each other in the wilderness of beats, drums, whistles, anywhere that would house music our chance meetings. Warehouses, churches, anywhere that was liberated by the spirit of the times to break away from convention and party like there’s no tomorrow, unsupervised, unlawful and energy shaping and forming to grow seeds of discontent to break down and open our aims as we met all different groups from class, backgrounds, in didn’t matter we were free motivated by dance, community and becoming our own Gods and Goddesses. We were all drawn together by those times that took a whole new crusade up to the calling arms as a whole new set of rules were here – our self determination for truth. We were powerful because we were mixing in different groups and dimensions depending our own unique trajectory.
Whilst the main stream continued and continues to align to common drudgery & monotony of status quo’s, insidious and lower vibes as the paper keeps printing and we keep believing that money, oil, are still worth worshipping; and the need to know that so long as I continue my unique navigator story that contains the seeds of ancient know-how that essentially create vital winds of change without borders, continuing with the promotion of love and kindness to all living things, then we all have that self germinating potential. We all have a duty to stand up and make high vibes for the rightious and break out from the gremlins, and soul suckers harvesting our indigenous humanity.
The time has come to let go of everything you think is true and hold dear to what you really innately already know, that the divine will of humanity and cosmic natural lore, resonates allowing a parent with a young adult the encouragement of seeking their own course without judgement and blame-gaming. Otherwise one will go simply mad!