June 13th The Gemini month and what an odd month this is turning out to be…the weather is off, raining all day yesterday and at the weekend of the All About Eve, the insiders medicine healers party nestled in the most glorious part imo, of the country, Bradford and Avon, right near Monkton Combe..I wish oh I wish, I could live in that part of the country…I felt utterly at home there, staying at that lavish hotel, though a little Faulty Towers too, The Water House, a former old peoples home, and before that two families living there one after an other from the 17th c…and then on to my best friends new pad near Frome, in Somerset. Well a total departure from her old pile, a 17th c farmhouse, buildings, and land, to a very modern barn conversion, with SWANK written all over the wallpaper, which I loved bar one room, of annoying doggies….and of course she’d just literally moved in, so my beloved brother Lester, picked me up, from The Waterhouse on that fine sunny afternoon on Saturday, and drove us both down the road to Nicola’s.
I absolutely love having my brother around. He is wildly my brother from our deep and difficult childhood surrounded by sycophants, and ego’s so big, that us children were not only in the shadows appealing to be seen, let alone heard, but buried under a massive amount of shaming guilt that should one enquire, be prepared to be lambasted, defiled, called names, and thoroughly told off…that was how we were dealt with. Always being told that if we didn’t like it, we could always go to the mothership, of which terrified us even more, with the continuous insults coming our way as to how Jacqui, was such a cow bag. WE were petrified of that option, as Mum lived in a council house, was going out with some pariah called Terry Peaples, who was loud, dirty, rude. I felt unsafe more in mums company of keepers, and found that the hard, mean, and Stockholm-Syndrome warmth of the Common Farm, had more to give me than Mum’s mental-ness, and her total blame gaming, victimisation upon which John Manners, and Audrey Binks held her accountable, for all the crimes, all the blows to our little growing up hearts, all the main-line tragedies, were all down to Mum, Jaqueline and no other. We were poisoned.
We the children, were programmed a lot by the adults infidelities, lies, screwed up personas, all under the watchful eyes of Aunty Binks who was waiting for the event to happen, Dad to die, whilst she sucked up the farm, and sold it off for a pretty penny moving with her daughter and family to Devon. Crikey I am still utterly hurt by that childhood however when I am with my brother Lester, the light comes on, and I am able to function with another level of feelings. Those that are embedded in the good things a childhood cemented. That of remembering that glorious hot summer of ’76 and in the Autumn of ’75, Dad had conveniently brought a round step up-pool, that shimmered blue, and tantalised us kids to get totally excitable as that early hot summer came flooding in. We would literally jump off the bus and run up the long track frothing with anticipation as to who’d get in the cold spring water, first, and my, oh my, we’d be stripping clothes off of our backs , as we approached that defining moment, the total releasing of our whole selves as we imploded into the cool cold water of the pool. We were in heaven in the summer of ’76. I was 9 and about to be 10. I had begun to unravel the mysteries of my earlier years, and was totally confused by the childrens home, the parenting on display, the kidnap and living in Eastrop from 73-74….DARK years they were.
My mum failed to give me that nurturing I so was desperate to receive.. no not a chance in hell, would that be coming as I’d cry every night and morning wishing I was at the farm – a jump and a skip across the fields from the cottage. However I was looked after, cleaned, hair brushed, clean pants, and looked presentable, but I was not happy. Not -in -a -million years.
In fact my child hood was a total nightmare, other than the animals, and nature that swept me up and cradled my dreams for a better Mia Manners. I was permanently on flight and fight, my dearest Adrenals Glands didn’t stand a chance….I literally never felt safe…and it was true, to the point of a little job was found for me in Bibury, Glos, and out I went at 16 years old.
My dreams last night were full of rain crushing into an old house, that was a shop, water and roof clumped around the table in the shop window which was next to another very important house. Someone was in there as I told them that here was open to the elements…the door opened from the lashing of rain that had been…a man was near, so I explained that to him, now I was on a cliff…and the sea was loud, and angry…..suddenly I was propelled into a car, not driving it, though my foot was down…a women and her child in the passengers seat took the route down to the crowds of people on the beach who were cooking fish and making a great meal and deal of something….of course my dreaming woke up …..
Yesterday I literally tumbled over on to the pavement…BANG! THUD! One minute walking happily with the dogs, then kersplatt, I knew I was going over, and there, I found myself with my chin saving my nose and forehead taking that very oddly timed fall. The Doggies hadn’t tripped me, or pulled me..it came out of the blue just as I had received a text from Dave who is leaving his new place..something isn’t right there….and I was thinking mildly on whether to talk to him about it, when I fell. Blood poured from a big gash, hole in my chinny chin chin, and it left me shaken, shocked and thoroughly not sure as to why that happened. Shock really reveals stuff to you, and my innate head went to 5G….I had been activated and kerpow! I was on the floor head down, and in the clouds of that DARPA Energy weaponry.
My fellow dog walker friend Kalau, was totally concerned saying he didn’t see it, only that when he turned there I was blood pouring, and me in a straight horizontal line looking at the pavement. It woke me up. Again.
I got home after I nearly collided with a motor bike on CharingCross…I got off the phone.. Bullit was a welcome sight, but his lovely blue ring had burst, from a walk Mets had given to him as he played with chums in the bushes. He now has a black plain ring around his next to stop him itching, but no matter what I do, he still feels the itches.
Today I change my life forever.
The End Game has Arrived.
Today my daughter receives her glorious 30 day and beyond keyring from Mariguana Anonymous….I am utterly utterly proud of my girl. She did her first two exams on Tuesday and I feel they went well. She is smart, always has been, but the skunk, the skunk smack of the smoke world, had nearly robbed her of all her vitality, youth, and clarity. She was a wreck putting on weight, and totally absorbed in a world of chasing drugs at college with all her user friends…I knew it, I could see it, and I thank God daily that her Guides fully activated her visions to see little girls stroking her feet at the bottom of her bed and voices in her head. It would have got worse, and again, I cannot say it enough, 5G is the 666 mark of the beast.
Today I write a blog about it.
I had a lovely little chat with Kirsty yesterday in regards to 5G and the Devils weaponry being used upon humanity, And that Extinction Rebellion is a controlled opposition fakery…..and that highly intelligent people are being used to fight climate change, which is an oxymoron in itself…..If XR were a truth vibration, I would know it. If they highlighted the problems of 5G, that would have been the leading light for me, but no…they bring on some pawn from Sweden, a teenager, to carry the message that the climate and carbon are defect, the problem of earth. That anyone who doesn’t agree with their Mission, is mad. I did my research and found a lot to dispel the myths and origins of this organisation, that is run by Gail Bradbrook, Roger Hallam, and George psy-opped Barda of Occupy 2014.
People need to wake up and do their homework. People I love and respect are hellbent in to the dystopian future scenario of the United Nations,Agenda 21/30 Green New Deal, that is eerily horrible, which will take ALL our freedoms away should we not press this out and get people to imagine a future that is shrouded in chip and pins, stack and packs, Mega-Regions that are no longer sovereign countries, but stretches of regions, districts if you will where humans live, and the wild-lands are human free, animal and plant led bar a handful of elites who have slaves to fully allow these lunatics to do their bidding.
And that’s just the tip. The whole climate-change push is the drill with all the Mainstream media on board affiliated Secret Societies. However their imagined end game, is exposed and dying as we all begin to allow the focus to expose the Globalists….
The world is being divided into have and have nots, who believes in climate change or those who have done their research and know what is going on when pulling the curtain back. I will never vote again. That is is. I can see how SMART meters are becoming the gadgetry that we must all have in order to do our bit. What about good old fashioned common sense? Where did that go? Just use less water when showering? Put a jumper on when cold?
I was completely in awe of common sense as a child. It was all we ever were told by Dad. Wheres your bloody common sense? WE knew innately what that meant..it meant the intuitive strand that links all life through a beautiful golden light, that is the truth of the matter. That defines the wholeness of ones minds emerged in body and the grounding-ness that is Mother Earth with her beautiful polarised father sun, sprouting the eminence of light.
It is simply as it is.
Yet again we have been eroded, pounded, beaten and told we are not worthy unless the State tells us how to live, the School systems programme us with left socialist, communist garbage all wanting everyone to have the same….Universal f’ing credit for starters…The State and the dole ruined my early years..upon knowing it was there, it took the parental power and guidance away from my beloved farm, and thrown into the world I went. Of course I can say that it helped and shielded me from the streets, but I am now convinced it totally hindered my self-development in so many ways. And that guts me.
In so many levels.
The Dole sucks. The State is a big lie and the way we are being run, herded like sheep fattened up with shit non nutritional foodstuffs, and jabbed with vaccinations till we no longer can feel our God like selves connected to the vast open universe because we are so fucking dumbed down by eating shite, watching crap, and programmed to think that we are nothing but slaves who go to work day in day out, unless we are the lucky ones, who runs our own business, or does wonderful work to service for others…but again, the past 30 odd years, I have seen the future as I lived in my own hell hole as a child, with disgusting parenting, abusive and crushed early, traumatised by the permanent being told , that I am not Who I think I was – my fathers daughter….and thrown out to in out Who Am I, and What Am I doing here?
Yeah reading above sounds a little pesimistic, but the truth shall set one free! Wake up, and do your own research…This worm is turning……
I send you good energy…..so it is done..
Dearest Diary…back on May 31st…it has gone so quick…I honestly had to blink twice in seeing this date hit me….we had a great’sh time in Devon with dear Aunty Shelia putting up with two great big teen gals, they sleeping in her upstairs four poster bed, and Lu and I in the room over looking that incredibly well worked upon and totally neat garden packed full of early summer flowers….I brushed hard up against my ego and it all came tumbling out with me feeling extremely paranoid and put upon when we sat down to eat at Pete and Sams and Lucille overspilled her own minksy behaviour by pouring out, ‘Did you vote Brexit?’ of which a sharp NO, we love Europe thus putting me in a strange unfoldment of politics at dinner mixed in with satanism and Coleshill of last year….All in all it naturally turned and bit me on the head with Sam slamming the table and shutting me down, stating my mouth was loud, where as I had apologised from the minute we impassed our beliefs systems and yet no, Pete, Aunty Shelia, Lucille, were all for flaming those flames and leaving me to just finally get up, and walk out, quickly saying thank you and goodbye…where upon, Eva-Marie called me and I just burst into tears with Bullit running beside me in that most picturesque village….I couldn’t really speak too much however, as Mets ran up besides me….still I just wanted to get out of that toxic environment with everyone seemingly pointing the blame game upon me…..It hurt……We all had a part to play…..I had already had stab pains in my right hand side of my front heart, a pain spiking in my lower right abdomen and my left hand side of my face wounded by inflammation possibly leaning to toothache upon my filled in porcelain tooth…..from the minute we arrived on Sunday….
I felt dejected, rejected, abandoned and utterly saddened that this stupid conflict of a great crowd of egos, and me getting very much the hard shoulder of it all….I do hold my hands over my heart in that, however family is not what it seems, though blood is thicker than water..my sadness stemmed from Pete…my dear cousin whom I have developed a sweet relationship and feel especially close to him. However he is married, and loyal and for that I have no other option, but to cry my heart out, like a wounded banshee in the arms of Aunty Shelia and release some old ills, resentments and other.
This came out….
I had written in text to Dave about the shoddy effort he had worked on in my flat back in 2013…and finally let him have it…this again pleased me, as it was long overdue and I do believe we will be friends even from such a delayed in-action for so long harbouring in my belly…again bias from others does not help….but there…Let it go Miss Manners….it is done….
I dreamt of Rima and Fifi fighting and Bob being in a back room while I tried to bathe in a bath with Bullit…I scrambled into to hold off Rima and Fifi declaring that Rima dropped me for Fifi all those years ago and that had hurt all those years ago only to be woken up by Metta-Angel crying in the bathroom from another deep wounding dream about Cameron….she is waking up and working hard upon herself from the anger that carries around in her…as she spits out foul words and directs pointedness at anyone standing in her way..as she did yesterday morning with Aunty Shelia…..She went to her meeting last night and always comes back with a new sense of renewal and faith in her stopping dope, skunk and all that is junk in her world, including the people places and things she has hung around with……She is awakening up and it hurts as she self awarely discovers the joys of being clean, and serene from that utterly foul minded drug…that has been sent to really dehumanise the youth, and cut them up blocking their hormones and gutting out their truth vibes…,.ah the mainstream drug systems is everywhere, food, pharma, pouring from the skies and much worse…….Still we are human and as 5G is now on in London, it buzzes and crackles and fizzes around us, this DEW-HAARP Tesla energy…..The Devils work it is….however I am determined to remain upbeat, keep my side of the street clean, and do my utter best in my most self assuredly and honest authentic way, to make sense of my own performance in this 21st century…..Live in my awareness of co-creativeness!
And so coming home on the train, walking through Hyde Park with Bullit and over to Watkins book store to buy a few self help books, was a good thing to do…we noticed the doggie people and ragged modern homeless, siting Bullit off lead with his donut on that is there to stop him scratching his terrible scabs…..
On arrival, home looked very clean from my massive green-clean last week before embarking this half-term and leaving our guests, who wrote a very spectacular reference of which sang to my heart, for I did work hard at impressing upon her, how London is a fine city…
I did have to clean up the moths though and out of the cupboard I found their hiding places, of which were in the sesame and pumpkin seeds and brown rice, all now gone out the window….I eventually after tidying, cleaning and eating, and watching Love in a Cold Climate, a jolly set in the mid 20th century with Celia Imrie and Alan Bates, a superb little reminder of the upper classes leading up to world war two…with The Bolter! Such fun!
And again reading my most especially fabulous book called STAR OF THE SEA, JOSEPH O’CONNOR… a rip roaring entanglement of those who left to go to America in 1847 upon that ship, and their stories in the most hideous Potato famine that beseeched and destroyed whole families in that terrible time from blight and how the English and skull-duggery Irish did not help and yet we had all the money in the world as the Victorian Industrial Empire raged creating the world we live in now….what a disgrace and yet this book is leading me to such heights in words I have and do not know. It wets my appetite to write and read more of the classics..yes the classics…….
I am thoroughly convinced by that and now that things are sort of moving towards a trajectory of healing. I shall do my upmost to remain pure, be self-aware, and live through my soul-self, not that grasping, desiring egoic mind of mine which literally wishes to keep me in full expectations and grand plans leading my I to self loathing and selfish deceptions that cannot and do not serve humanity, nature and my body! I am convinced I can do much better especially as I have a great chance of living kindly and honestly…rather than the towing and throwing of muckiness and mayhem that is everything policing the way our innate individual hearts govern.
C60 Purple Power saved the day last night! I was stocked up with pills and potions from Helen, when Greg called to see if I am up for a TT today, and so I told him my predicament with my left tooth inflammation and he advised not paracetamol or Ibrofuren , but Aspirin as it is the closest to nature…so I took that on board and just as I was finishing watching Pride and Prejudice, I remembered C60, and took the last sliver, to notice immediately my tooth ache subside and my awakening today with no pressure..however I shall be watching this….or rather feeling this….
I am off to walk in Chelsea with those unconditional doggies, the General Hank, Hugo and Blondie and gaze wonderfully at the blooming spring summer tide, with birds enchantingly singling, Stop 5G…stop it you see….the eugenistics and Bilderberg are meeting as we speak in Switzerland, bringing fourth more of their gutteral attempts to control our every thing from our hearts and minds under a false banner of Climate Change and discord pains, and all that is wrong with the world……but as my Aunty Shelia, it is as it should be…leading us all to our own perceptions…I am awake. and awakening and its painful, however I am so glad to be here witnessing this fourth dimensional industrial revoltuion…..!
Nature is the way….