Category Archives: Dearest Diary
Daughter of mine – shine
I’m mourning my little girl
I miss the privilege of mothering smothering loving with such much unconditional loving…
Drowning in the above
Then she’s suddenly 20 choosing her way forward blessed in righteous guides
I try to hold in…
Some I approve
oh some I see doomed
And yet what do I do about that
Motherhood – the most extraordinary & important time of my life
Poof! she’s blown across the seas of emotional outpouring dreaming her life into interdependent actual descendant
Rising high my o my
Where my knocking no longer serves
My purpose driven into an epileptic fit feeling feelings I survey do not deserve…
What to do how now for mia
Where? Where? Does anyone care? Really mia is that all you thing..
not a good look not after a raw salad dressed in love and fashion
I’m good at caring, great even so anita says, it’s your time to shine
Let yourself come back to poetry writing making a dime
Musical literature historical creature
Love the arts love thy heart kind well speaking pleasure
Hard working not grasping
Let go let go Scorpio south node, pointed in sin,mystery, dark crevices, deep sexual inhibitors of the underground watery mythology draped in catastrophe
Whirlwind dynamic ultimate unhinged
Deep breath into stepping forward
Remembering who am I
Where what how shall I go on into new lands and beyond
France England Argintina’s Mexico Bulgaria oh oh oh ? Let go of what bogs one down
Foolish tidbits internet clown … stuck in Tim pool jimmy Dore Russel brand more me the fool
Hugo talks opening out the potential double skulduggery and buffoonery
With myself my dog my self mhh u who am I
Questioning that no thing no one no dream
No thing know thing every thing everyone
I’m crying my heart out so full of a loss
On the 56 bus ,
Angry at the masked public angry at the jabs jabbed on the public angry at the system ,angry angry angry at alternative media false gods false hoods
I miss me I miss thee – I’m a child still you see
Angry at Ukraine deep state children trafficking bioweapon racketeering
Blue yellow flags hidden in the nhs dystopian ugly corporate death system
Plugging blockers anti inflammatory shockers screwing heads up brainwaves ducked in the myrrh of snakes . Serpents cruel servants laid in grovelling greed-infiltrated deeds
Lies lies lies the killing of the children sticking jabs into their pure blood essence
Divisive cruel and utterly bad
Evil is the putrid plundering of greedy fat cat soul sucking archons who have no other way to shame guilt survive as g thy get pull on the loosh of the divine
I myself do what? Follow shows on rumble YT
No longer telegram. finished with the conjecture of pings ringing in in in
Distracting ring a ding ding filling the brainwaves with dumb downing
Keeping us away from the guru of our destiny
This is sin no matter the gin genie
Focus pocus illusionary joke on us
Good or bad up and down yin if yang
It’s all a skam where did we go wrong in this swan song? Duality land
Plandemic scamdemic evil evil to the people
I for one , feel gutted, shunted, pushed over crushed under the wheels of despair
Lost in the whackadooxle back door front of house stall
What a bore!
Home is my heart
Darling daughter is that chart now eating dinner with her triple jabbed sinner northerner
And she loves him most of All
as I will grow in this no thing know thing place
For she , my little girl, Is quite grown up
Emboldened by her talented assortment of unfolding ahead of the game grace
I miss mothering
I miss my role parenting
Trust mia dear dear mia… the eclipse is pulling you apart
Taurus north node pushing towards self sufficiency not controlled oppositioning
Scorpio gasp south of the river dark foreboding house of tail jabbing
Time for me to deliver
God is my witness and love my forgiveness
May all beings be happy!
I love you daughter of mine child of high
Son yo come to me in good time
May 12th Thursday 2022
From production to seduction!
Where are all our chance meetings…?
7th October 2021
Go back to school… french Spanish
Health wellbeing- homeopathy? But here’s the snag… these courses are all on line… where’s the community?
I loved mixing things up with other enthusiasts, sitting in our seats, primed for new heartfelt imaginations, moving into concrete manifestations.. now we sit on our screens, screaming blue murder at the hollow, shiny, feedback loops, television, smart gadgetry, zoom chatting. I’m belligerent and stand firmly reminding myself, there is a better way..face to face, heart beats across the way, language muffled, coughs normal, sneezing ahoa!
I stare out on the train, half the people in ugly masks, covering up their pretty human faces, from all races..places…
What dear God, has our human collective outpouring achieved?
We will overcome this madness…mind set mulling hyperbole insanity, for that is what she it is.
The 19thc with its ceaseless wars pushed into 20th ghastly cruelty great First World War… ghastly disgraceful hidden hands pushing agenda manipulation, monopolising their killing machines as test sites… France Germany Russia England
Are we adding up, or making things up?!The Great Correction is here…
I can only start at the beginning before we became lock down in a broil over a virus named Covid19…This Coronavirus, Crown, has and is in our cellular systems…however this one, is bioweaponery manmade, all inclusive Retrovirus’s that hit the sequencing of deoxygenating in our blood and lymth glands…our intracellular systems that arise from our great Sun, in this Solar system, decorated to the hilt with a lower heavier third Dimensional abstract, cordial, intentions brimming with goodly natured outcomes, that give brisk and fun tides towards always towards walking across the bridge of Kantarana, that takes us to our highest purpose, selves and electromagnetic higher chords that are sentient throughout this universality that man and nature are hand in hand, cosmic, surrendering to the awe inspiration, creation and self awareness amongst this world of worlds. Mother, Father, are all that is, is here to gather and witness a calling, awakening, healing, and making the necessary adjustments, for we are in the battle yes, of the Spiritual domains, as we shift our frequencies to match our vibratory callings, as so we can make the shift, together, culturally using mans best friends, humour, grace, gratitude, dignity, intuition, with our swords in our right hand, our shield across our torso, with feet on the ground gently walking with earnest, and our helmets placed accordingly to guide our cosmic and interdepend attributes towards ALL men.
For no one goes without all, for this is balance and harmony. This allows for a meeting of heart minds, thus our gifts are unique to each and everyone, that we are here to witness the ending of time as we know it, eschatology, Terrence McKenna spoke and wrote about….That we are now in a place where we can breathe without having to see our skies drenched in aluminium, barium, Strontium, Lead, Mercury, human bodies, and all sorts of ungodly synthetic challenges…
That and then Flouride in the water, for decades, rotting our senses in our divine hormonal endocrine. And yet it is ok, I know it to be so. There is a way for all of us to see this and shift our purpose towards remembering that this time is truly magical for no planes filling the airwaves, no storms, no mad mad weather days that have been abundant, and now we are in a void of contemplation, quiet, interesting, no cars much about, there are people however, and nice that it is, however something else, a sense of a different whole unknown part, that is very much determinate upon those who seek to know, and then a prayer is set amongst the pigeons, and cats, and dogs, and birds, and insects, and trees, and leaves, a rising of energy that gathers in the early Spring that gives us light…lighting up our well being, even in this lock down, this Reset, this Correction, and will the Deep state finally fall away, as the light thickens, with the strength of the Sun, that no longer has to compete with its blocking of the sun agenda, that Gates is behind, and a lot more than that.
Those oddities, with their stacks of cash and their push for more and more, Why? Pathological and psychologically low in energy, they have to steal it, they take no moral heart empathic sojourns, it hold no willingness from them, or does it? Are we truly now going to shine the light on the Globalists New Wet dream of that One World Order, or New World Order, are we as my daughter claims, bringing in these folks and their systems, for we talk and conspire and watch and listen to the alternative communities. Are we, Am I just focused that much on it that I am creating the template? Along with a lot of other folks…
Hmm…Could be…or is it time to just choose one part that you can really turn the screw on, and reverse the outcomes of the Globalists chip n pin, stack and pack, Agenda 21 SMART city IoT, Cashless society, digital data harvesting to credit score every transaction, every reward, every part of your electricity particles that now are plugged into this 5G quantum radiation high voltage frequencies…And so it is rolling out….in the lock down and I now can see it…however we have something they do not, Faith, Love, Compassion, Potential to become a true Warrior, human being, ecstatic being dancing in a galaxy that is here, right now, right there, right up close and personal, should you design your Agency for Asking Questions, Who Am I, What is this, How May I…commune, listen to great ambient, classical, quirky Radio Three, Resonance 104.4 FM, just let the Main stream media slip away, fall away to another day…
Allow yourself to Dive deeply into your soul and cells, and blood, lymph, ligaments, muscles, bone, heart, liver, spleen, gut, intestines, ah, the great intracellular systems that are microbes, workers, action eaters, that work for us, for our who we are, and why the Sun, the Stars, the rivers, oceans, mountains, forests, animals, insects, fish and foul, are all so part of this existence and now I find myself, gearing up a notch to take on this Spiritual War…And we are all here to witness it.
The Reset !
Dear Diary…Climate change, and XR/5G….
June 13th The Gemini month and what an odd month this is turning out to be…the weather is off, raining all day yesterday and at the weekend of the All About Eve, the insiders medicine healers party nestled in the most glorious part imo, of the country, Bradford and Avon, right near Monkton Combe..I wish oh I wish, I could live in that part of the country…I felt utterly at home there, staying at that lavish hotel, though a little Faulty Towers too, The Water House, a former old peoples home, and before that two families living there one after an other from the 17th c…and then on to my best friends new pad near Frome, in Somerset. Well a total departure from her old pile, a 17th c farmhouse, buildings, and land, to a very modern barn conversion, with SWANK written all over the wallpaper, which I loved bar one room, of annoying doggies….and of course she’d just literally moved in, so my beloved brother Lester, picked me up, from The Waterhouse on that fine sunny afternoon on Saturday, and drove us both down the road to Nicola’s.
I absolutely love having my brother around. He is wildly my brother from our deep and difficult childhood surrounded by sycophants, and ego’s so big, that us children were not only in the shadows appealing to be seen, let alone heard, but buried under a massive amount of shaming guilt that should one enquire, be prepared to be lambasted, defiled, called names, and thoroughly told off…that was how we were dealt with. Always being told that if we didn’t like it, we could always go to the mothership, of which terrified us even more, with the continuous insults coming our way as to how Jacqui, was such a cow bag. WE were petrified of that option, as Mum lived in a council house, was going out with some pariah called Terry Peaples, who was loud, dirty, rude. I felt unsafe more in mums company of keepers, and found that the hard, mean, and Stockholm-Syndrome warmth of the Common Farm, had more to give me than Mum’s mental-ness, and her total blame gaming, victimisation upon which John Manners, and Audrey Binks held her accountable, for all the crimes, all the blows to our little growing up hearts, all the main-line tragedies, were all down to Mum, Jaqueline and no other. We were poisoned.
We the children, were programmed a lot by the adults infidelities, lies, screwed up personas, all under the watchful eyes of Aunty Binks who was waiting for the event to happen, Dad to die, whilst she sucked up the farm, and sold it off for a pretty penny moving with her daughter and family to Devon. Crikey I am still utterly hurt by that childhood however when I am with my brother Lester, the light comes on, and I am able to function with another level of feelings. Those that are embedded in the good things a childhood cemented. That of remembering that glorious hot summer of ’76 and in the Autumn of ’75, Dad had conveniently brought a round step up-pool, that shimmered blue, and tantalised us kids to get totally excitable as that early hot summer came flooding in. We would literally jump off the bus and run up the long track frothing with anticipation as to who’d get in the cold spring water, first, and my, oh my, we’d be stripping clothes off of our backs , as we approached that defining moment, the total releasing of our whole selves as we imploded into the cool cold water of the pool. We were in heaven in the summer of ’76. I was 9 and about to be 10. I had begun to unravel the mysteries of my earlier years, and was totally confused by the childrens home, the parenting on display, the kidnap and living in Eastrop from 73-74….DARK years they were.
My mum failed to give me that nurturing I so was desperate to receive.. no not a chance in hell, would that be coming as I’d cry every night and morning wishing I was at the farm – a jump and a skip across the fields from the cottage. However I was looked after, cleaned, hair brushed, clean pants, and looked presentable, but I was not happy. Not -in -a -million years.
In fact my child hood was a total nightmare, other than the animals, and nature that swept me up and cradled my dreams for a better Mia Manners. I was permanently on flight and fight, my dearest Adrenals Glands didn’t stand a chance….I literally never felt safe…and it was true, to the point of a little job was found for me in Bibury, Glos, and out I went at 16 years old.
My dreams last night were full of rain crushing into an old house, that was a shop, water and roof clumped around the table in the shop window which was next to another very important house. Someone was in there as I told them that here was open to the elements…the door opened from the lashing of rain that had been…a man was near, so I explained that to him, now I was on a cliff…and the sea was loud, and angry…..suddenly I was propelled into a car, not driving it, though my foot was down…a women and her child in the passengers seat took the route down to the crowds of people on the beach who were cooking fish and making a great meal and deal of something….of course my dreaming woke up …..
Yesterday I literally tumbled over on to the pavement…BANG! THUD! One minute walking happily with the dogs, then kersplatt, I knew I was going over, and there, I found myself with my chin saving my nose and forehead taking that very oddly timed fall. The Doggies hadn’t tripped me, or pulled me..it came out of the blue just as I had received a text from Dave who is leaving his new place..something isn’t right there….and I was thinking mildly on whether to talk to him about it, when I fell. Blood poured from a big gash, hole in my chinny chin chin, and it left me shaken, shocked and thoroughly not sure as to why that happened. Shock really reveals stuff to you, and my innate head went to 5G….I had been activated and kerpow! I was on the floor head down, and in the clouds of that DARPA Energy weaponry.
My fellow dog walker friend Kalau, was totally concerned saying he didn’t see it, only that when he turned there I was blood pouring, and me in a straight horizontal line looking at the pavement. It woke me up. Again.
I got home after I nearly collided with a motor bike on CharingCross…I got off the phone.. Bullit was a welcome sight, but his lovely blue ring had burst, from a walk Mets had given to him as he played with chums in the bushes. He now has a black plain ring around his next to stop him itching, but no matter what I do, he still feels the itches.
Today I change my life forever.
The End Game has Arrived.
Today my daughter receives her glorious 30 day and beyond keyring from Mariguana Anonymous….I am utterly utterly proud of my girl. She did her first two exams on Tuesday and I feel they went well. She is smart, always has been, but the skunk, the skunk smack of the smoke world, had nearly robbed her of all her vitality, youth, and clarity. She was a wreck putting on weight, and totally absorbed in a world of chasing drugs at college with all her user friends…I knew it, I could see it, and I thank God daily that her Guides fully activated her visions to see little girls stroking her feet at the bottom of her bed and voices in her head. It would have got worse, and again, I cannot say it enough, 5G is the 666 mark of the beast.
Today I write a blog about it.
I had a lovely little chat with Kirsty yesterday in regards to 5G and the Devils weaponry being used upon humanity, And that Extinction Rebellion is a controlled opposition fakery…..and that highly intelligent people are being used to fight climate change, which is an oxymoron in itself…..If XR were a truth vibration, I would know it. If they highlighted the problems of 5G, that would have been the leading light for me, but no…they bring on some pawn from Sweden, a teenager, to carry the message that the climate and carbon are defect, the problem of earth. That anyone who doesn’t agree with their Mission, is mad. I did my research and found a lot to dispel the myths and origins of this organisation, that is run by Gail Bradbrook, Roger Hallam, and George psy-opped Barda of Occupy 2014.
People need to wake up and do their homework. People I love and respect are hellbent in to the dystopian future scenario of the United Nations,Agenda 21/30 Green New Deal, that is eerily horrible, which will take ALL our freedoms away should we not press this out and get people to imagine a future that is shrouded in chip and pins, stack and packs, Mega-Regions that are no longer sovereign countries, but stretches of regions, districts if you will where humans live, and the wild-lands are human free, animal and plant led bar a handful of elites who have slaves to fully allow these lunatics to do their bidding.
And that’s just the tip. The whole climate-change push is the drill with all the Mainstream media on board affiliated Secret Societies. However their imagined end game, is exposed and dying as we all begin to allow the focus to expose the Globalists….
The world is being divided into have and have nots, who believes in climate change or those who have done their research and know what is going on when pulling the curtain back. I will never vote again. That is is. I can see how SMART meters are becoming the gadgetry that we must all have in order to do our bit. What about good old fashioned common sense? Where did that go? Just use less water when showering? Put a jumper on when cold?
I was completely in awe of common sense as a child. It was all we ever were told by Dad. Wheres your bloody common sense? WE knew innately what that meant..it meant the intuitive strand that links all life through a beautiful golden light, that is the truth of the matter. That defines the wholeness of ones minds emerged in body and the grounding-ness that is Mother Earth with her beautiful polarised father sun, sprouting the eminence of light.
It is simply as it is.
Yet again we have been eroded, pounded, beaten and told we are not worthy unless the State tells us how to live, the School systems programme us with left socialist, communist garbage all wanting everyone to have the same….Universal f’ing credit for starters…The State and the dole ruined my early years..upon knowing it was there, it took the parental power and guidance away from my beloved farm, and thrown into the world I went. Of course I can say that it helped and shielded me from the streets, but I am now convinced it totally hindered my self-development in so many ways. And that guts me.
In so many levels.
The Dole sucks. The State is a big lie and the way we are being run, herded like sheep fattened up with shit non nutritional foodstuffs, and jabbed with vaccinations till we no longer can feel our God like selves connected to the vast open universe because we are so fucking dumbed down by eating shite, watching crap, and programmed to think that we are nothing but slaves who go to work day in day out, unless we are the lucky ones, who runs our own business, or does wonderful work to service for others…but again, the past 30 odd years, I have seen the future as I lived in my own hell hole as a child, with disgusting parenting, abusive and crushed early, traumatised by the permanent being told , that I am not Who I think I was – my fathers daughter….and thrown out to in out Who Am I, and What Am I doing here?
Yeah reading above sounds a little pesimistic, but the truth shall set one free! Wake up, and do your own research…This worm is turning……
Q-links, and other crackers for June….
Spacetiming in holograms…..
Monday 3rd June… Donald Trump and his wife Melania are here in London and will be meeting with the Queen with the usual pageantry. Of course the BBC 4 broadcasting is as ever biased, not really impressed with this state visit and certainly suggested that the Leader of The House, John Berkow, would much prefer to meet the Leader of communist China than our closet allies…I am totally not bothered one way or another anymore, viewing politics as a snakes den, with men and women do-gooders who line their pockets to causes in the lobbying stakes that suits their boots. However I am much happier knowing Trump is waking the world up with his usual rants, and tantalising displays of not rolling over for the opposition party of America which is thoroughly steeped in Klu-Klux Klan history and slavery and so much worse. One only needs to look in to the bowels of Hillary Rodham Clinton and her pals to feel the lies and war mongering that is hers and hers alone. Look and remember the great injury she created in killing Colonel Gaddafi, a man who was in love with the West and also had some super things going on to ensure clean water for that deserted country…The country is in a mess with mass immigrants fleeing and moving towards our shores.
And then we have all the skullduggery that amounts to a huge lot of 70 years of CIA MKultra and now that 5G is switched on via the new LED lighting systems in our streets, we simply need to keep alert, healthy, non-plussed in all the events taking place to harm with radiation and Electro-magnetic Frequencies…so I am going to buy a Q-link pendanthttps://www.shopqlink.com/ that Scotties Tech Info show feels could be pretty good in supporting ones effort in this directed energy weapon matter of the heart.
They have been around a long time from about 1991…a cracking year for me…..bumping into Colin Angus ex bf, can you believe it, but yeah, sigh, I loved the musicians including this one for a deep insight as a girlfriend in that exceedingly great year for me running Spacetime in the East End Cable Street Art Studios. A time for the youth to dress down in large longsleeves with motifs of smiley emblems, as cheesy quavers, acid housers and free partyers clashed as tribes tha culminated in Castle Mortan 1992 that brought down our fantasy escape land dances where all and everyone melted and greeted to dance the whole night away in those fields, factories and churches under one sun.
A time without no mobile phones…no major technology though a great album came out under Warp Records from Sheffield called Artificial Intelligence..of which I have just bought…
I shall be cycling to my dog job and then onto Gregory’s as we are preparing for a little festival in Bath this weekend that I have absolutely no idea where and what I am going to, only that dear Anita, my great shamanic healer friend is coming with, and that it will be eye-opening to one who likes to just get to somewhere, not knowing quite what is happening. Gregory will be speaking on his favourite topic, The Sun, and how the earth is completely in honour of our nearest Star that keeps the weather and all life flowing, ebbing, moving, changing, continuously impermanence to all that is the wonder of life. Of course you can’t say that to those pesky United Nations people who rarely talk about the Sun, preferring to get humanity fighting amongst each other under that usage of fossil fuels, which is renewable, which is self explanatory and which keeps all our brilliant lives fuelled and made from the Sun, the water, the carbon dioxide and the carbon cycle….however anyone who knows me, a former environmental consultant, can see the Agenda 21/30 fury being played out on the landscape of which is to totally tax our every movement under the guise of Climate destruction, of which is killing us all….No it is not.
We are carbon, our plants pour out oxygen as they take in carbon and which we would all be dead without this miracle of life. Still the usual cultural shapeshifters are pushing their mass breech to own, entrap, and gullibly take all our freedoms under the climate change hoax of the century. Yes we should stop chopping down the rainforests, virgin forests, indigenous landscaped to plant GMO corn, and Palm Oil…that is a given….And actually focus on the tight nit Bilderberg, BIS, and the duplicioutous inter-relationship of major corporations like Unilever, Deutsche Bank, The Bank of England, The Crown Privy minxers, Heinz, Bayers-Monsanto, Kraft, and all major industrial food complexes that unite in mining, chopping, drilling, polluting, evicting and other in the Great push for more and more land resources to fill the coffers for HedgeFunders, Banksters, and those pesky top 1% percenters who run the huge rackets conflicting with our Great Mother Earth. Habitats lost under the weight of human and industrial manipulation. However the puppet war masters push our shifts to eachother as though each human is just a meat bag of consumption to dally, play with and kill via a long game written in the the late 19th century under a scheme that is eugenics and very well laid to bare, should one go and look.
Meanwhile, lets get in Controlled Opposition forces such as Extinction Rebellion to allow the false war drums beat upon the streets of London under the watchful pushers of Gail Bradbook, George Barda, former controlled opposition Occupy leader, and some unknown actor called Roger Hallum, a typical ponce of an intellectual other public schooling that dulls you into agreeing with his intellectual barbwire….Enough of this!
I am learning to take myself off their radars, off the UN IPCC, and such rotters! All lining their 5G SMART cities future packages as though it were a wonderful idea to get us out of the countryside and into the stack and pack, chip and pin dystopian……
It is a sunny and fine day out there…the weather has been glorious other than the infuriating Geo-Engineering covering the once great skies with criss crosses and tail offs, not water vapour, rather, Strontium, aluminium, Barium and other ghastly new world ordering orders to keep us dull, dehumanised and creepily non threatening. And yet we are all being threatened under the weight of mass psy-opping.
So I just bought a Q-link. I am getting down with my bad self!
Have a good day!
June 1st 2019 Dear Diary……
A funny lot of dreams, sat with me was Robbie Williams, of Take That fame, hanging around me all the time in some countryside place, Aunty Shelia, various other friends as he kissed, caressed and mooched about. We all knew who he was, but he was not famous anymore and we just liked him. There was food too to eat…
Yesterday I posted a dear diary event on my blog upsetting lucille…It wasn’t meant to harm her, or do anything wrong, but those words tumbled out of me and I just felt I needed a place for it, them, me, to express my own top lines without trying to be clever or tell anyone about 5G, or GND, or the controlled opposition of which Extinction Rebellion is, and that Climate Change needs thinkers not deniers or gullible signer on’s who want to push for carbon being outlawed and taxed to fill the coffers of the greedy institutions like the U.N, The Banks, IMF and those who make the laws up…
I am aware my dog job is under threat too, as I do take a lot of holidays going away to Devon this week and next weekend I shall be at some festival with Greg Sams in the countryside…And then another tour up to the Arctic circle passing the Norway fields….in a tub…..And then what about the summer holidays – where shall I be? France, or England? I must get on with buying a little car to take me far far far away…from this fizz and crackle of 5G and Londons mirth and misery!
My dear nutty Russian came over last night spilling her enthusiasm at me with her new found concept which will require Richard Sharpe and Zen Essex to co-create her designs…I can see it too. Embroidery time is ahead….
My guest arrived, a Professor in English Literature and as he sat himself down with me, I asked him what’s up, he came back with “Well as you know we have a difficult situation in the States with politics”, so I moved into my behind the curtain story and how it doesn’t really matter which head of State comes in..they are all the same…however I moved swiftly on to talk about the environment and the total decimation of the soils in England from the 1947 Agricultural Act that paved the way for organo-phosphates to be used in the name of ‘Increasing The Yields in the Fields’ and for taxpayers to pay for their wholesale destruction of the lands, wiping out millions of acres of top soil, ploughing up rare wild flowers and water meadows and cutting the hedges down under the new false beating drum of capitalism and government in cahoots.
We arrived at the Common farm water meadows as I fiercely placed my points re: the madness of torch groups being funded by dubious men and women under the guise of improving our lives with the old causing a problem, reacting and then offering solutions. My Grandfather Frank Henry told the Ministry of Food and Farming to sod off in the war years. His explanation was that why would he plough up the Water-meadows when they would only flood in winter? He had a great point and those 100 acres survived mutilation and mass destruction, thus creating the SSI status (Site of Specific Interest) and now are preserved for future generations, the only thing is, no one gets to go on that land as it is owned by Big Pharma monies after my step mother sold. However my point is thus: We are being pushed, swayed, cajoled by false science, false alarmists, false inconvenient truths from the main stream and ER, IPCC, Agenda 21 are all leading to the totalitarian ball and chain in all our living arrangements and as an ex consultant in all things to do with carbon foot-printing, I can see how things are written on the wall…..
I send you good energy…..so it is done..
Dearest Diary…back on May 31st…it has gone so quick…I honestly had to blink twice in seeing this date hit me….we had a great’sh time in Devon with dear Aunty Shelia putting up with two great big teen gals, they sleeping in her upstairs four poster bed, and Lu and I in the room over looking that incredibly well worked upon and totally neat garden packed full of early summer flowers….I brushed hard up against my ego and it all came tumbling out with me feeling extremely paranoid and put upon when we sat down to eat at Pete and Sams and Lucille overspilled her own minksy behaviour by pouring out, ‘Did you vote Brexit?’ of which a sharp NO, we love Europe thus putting me in a strange unfoldment of politics at dinner mixed in with satanism and Coleshill of last year….All in all it naturally turned and bit me on the head with Sam slamming the table and shutting me down, stating my mouth was loud, where as I had apologised from the minute we impassed our beliefs systems and yet no, Pete, Aunty Shelia, Lucille, were all for flaming those flames and leaving me to just finally get up, and walk out, quickly saying thank you and goodbye…where upon, Eva-Marie called me and I just burst into tears with Bullit running beside me in that most picturesque village….I couldn’t really speak too much however, as Mets ran up besides me….still I just wanted to get out of that toxic environment with everyone seemingly pointing the blame game upon me…..It hurt……We all had a part to play…..I had already had stab pains in my right hand side of my front heart, a pain spiking in my lower right abdomen and my left hand side of my face wounded by inflammation possibly leaning to toothache upon my filled in porcelain tooth…..from the minute we arrived on Sunday….
I felt dejected, rejected, abandoned and utterly saddened that this stupid conflict of a great crowd of egos, and me getting very much the hard shoulder of it all….I do hold my hands over my heart in that, however family is not what it seems, though blood is thicker than water..my sadness stemmed from Pete…my dear cousin whom I have developed a sweet relationship and feel especially close to him. However he is married, and loyal and for that I have no other option, but to cry my heart out, like a wounded banshee in the arms of Aunty Shelia and release some old ills, resentments and other.
This came out….
I had written in text to Dave about the shoddy effort he had worked on in my flat back in 2013…and finally let him have it…this again pleased me, as it was long overdue and I do believe we will be friends even from such a delayed in-action for so long harbouring in my belly…again bias from others does not help….but there…Let it go Miss Manners….it is done….
I dreamt of Rima and Fifi fighting and Bob being in a back room while I tried to bathe in a bath with Bullit…I scrambled into to hold off Rima and Fifi declaring that Rima dropped me for Fifi all those years ago and that had hurt all those years ago only to be woken up by Metta-Angel crying in the bathroom from another deep wounding dream about Cameron….she is waking up and working hard upon herself from the anger that carries around in her…as she spits out foul words and directs pointedness at anyone standing in her way..as she did yesterday morning with Aunty Shelia…..She went to her meeting last night and always comes back with a new sense of renewal and faith in her stopping dope, skunk and all that is junk in her world, including the people places and things she has hung around with……She is awakening up and it hurts as she self awarely discovers the joys of being clean, and serene from that utterly foul minded drug…that has been sent to really dehumanise the youth, and cut them up blocking their hormones and gutting out their truth vibes…,.ah the mainstream drug systems is everywhere, food, pharma, pouring from the skies and much worse…….Still we are human and as 5G is now on in London, it buzzes and crackles and fizzes around us, this DEW-HAARP Tesla energy…..The Devils work it is….however I am determined to remain upbeat, keep my side of the street clean, and do my utter best in my most self assuredly and honest authentic way, to make sense of my own performance in this 21st century…..Live in my awareness of co-creativeness!
And so coming home on the train, walking through Hyde Park with Bullit and over to Watkins book store to buy a few self help books, was a good thing to do…we noticed the doggie people and ragged modern homeless, siting Bullit off lead with his donut on that is there to stop him scratching his terrible scabs…..
On arrival, home looked very clean from my massive green-clean last week before embarking this half-term and leaving our guests, who wrote a very spectacular reference of which sang to my heart, for I did work hard at impressing upon her, how London is a fine city…
I did have to clean up the moths though and out of the cupboard I found their hiding places, of which were in the sesame and pumpkin seeds and brown rice, all now gone out the window….I eventually after tidying, cleaning and eating, and watching Love in a Cold Climate, a jolly set in the mid 20th century with Celia Imrie and Alan Bates, a superb little reminder of the upper classes leading up to world war two…with The Bolter! Such fun!
And again reading my most especially fabulous book called STAR OF THE SEA, JOSEPH O’CONNOR… a rip roaring entanglement of those who left to go to America in 1847 upon that ship, and their stories in the most hideous Potato famine that beseeched and destroyed whole families in that terrible time from blight and how the English and skull-duggery Irish did not help and yet we had all the money in the world as the Victorian Industrial Empire raged creating the world we live in now….what a disgrace and yet this book is leading me to such heights in words I have and do not know. It wets my appetite to write and read more of the classics..yes the classics…….
I am thoroughly convinced by that and now that things are sort of moving towards a trajectory of healing. I shall do my upmost to remain pure, be self-aware, and live through my soul-self, not that grasping, desiring egoic mind of mine which literally wishes to keep me in full expectations and grand plans leading my I to self loathing and selfish deceptions that cannot and do not serve humanity, nature and my body! I am convinced I can do much better especially as I have a great chance of living kindly and honestly…rather than the towing and throwing of muckiness and mayhem that is everything policing the way our innate individual hearts govern.
C60 Purple Power saved the day last night! I was stocked up with pills and potions from Helen, when Greg called to see if I am up for a TT today, and so I told him my predicament with my left tooth inflammation and he advised not paracetamol or Ibrofuren , but Aspirin as it is the closest to nature…so I took that on board and just as I was finishing watching Pride and Prejudice, I remembered C60, and took the last sliver, to notice immediately my tooth ache subside and my awakening today with no pressure..however I shall be watching this….or rather feeling this….
I am off to walk in Chelsea with those unconditional doggies, the General Hank, Hugo and Blondie and gaze wonderfully at the blooming spring summer tide, with birds enchantingly singling, Stop 5G…stop it you see….the eugenistics and Bilderberg are meeting as we speak in Switzerland, bringing fourth more of their gutteral attempts to control our every thing from our hearts and minds under a false banner of Climate Change and discord pains, and all that is wrong with the world……but as my Aunty Shelia, it is as it should be…leading us all to our own perceptions…I am awake. and awakening and its painful, however I am so glad to be here witnessing this fourth dimensional industrial revoltuion…..!
Nature is the way….