All my life I was a high seeker of approval from a childhood of neglect & poverty consciousness…I went into the life of living in London with no family support & a lot of emotional wreckage- nonetheless I intuitively always did things my way and throughout my journey I began to unravel the terror of my own inner calling & all the external factors that dominated my own self loathing & extraordinary powerful wonder at life on Earth. I have now seen how all of us are fear led by a set of outside influencers from family, schooling, television and multimedia to the State, institutions & business models that have left me powerless and powerful.
This is my own unique reminder of how it weakened my cause for a tremendous life & the individuals I’ve met who are legends for being and living outside the box.
As I am blessed to be here in the world, I have realised my purpose that aligns to all things Organic, local & seasonal & that we come from the soil so we should really start demanding the food we eat is clean and that how we live as individuals isn’t dominated by then and us, Black or white, labour or Tory, democrats v replublicans, as the old duplicitous model demands one or the other..or else….I have broken down hundreds of times self awarely realising that my individual who I am is sovereign and I am thoroughly assured that whatever happens I am blessed with high vibratory outcomes from choosing a unique coordination of how and whys…
I am reading the most extraordinary book right now written in 1972 called The Secret Life Of Plants…it’s cemented my self belief in sentient life and energy beams that transcend the ridiculous dumbdowning, grotesque processed, mass intensive food erosions we eat in the name of feeding the world, and with that, this book has surplanted my innate gifts to furthering my relationships with being here on Mother Earth.
I am aware I’ve been a sloth in many parts of my life hiding my talents through fear alone. Fear has been a major undercurrent that has strangled my attempts to be epigenetic and original in my own nature.
I have trembled and fallen every single time I felt the breath of god upon me that tingled, sparkles and brought me to potential success in all my hairbrained schemes and not so…
I’ve struggled with nicotine & alcohol that I would use to block my potency and life giving force as I’d tell myself I am not worthy of being the best. I’ve stumbled plenty of times on my trajectory to seeking souls to love me and for me to love.
I have no illusions anymore about government & business working hand in hand to hinder the individuals right to govern their own wondrous paths.
The church, the state, corporations & institutions have all clubbed together a false lower vibratory mindset to keep one from rising high, and deplugging from the matrix.
Either or, I read artists like Jon Rappoport who is a good thinker who seeks his own imagination that doesn’t fuel fearesque tactics daily under the hypnotic trance of buying into mass hysteria.
I do not feel anything other than intrigue, curiosity and wonder that as my daughter opens the windows towards the light in the tropics, I feel honestly grateful for even knowing what I know.
I have a raft of individuals of whom I disclose my humane vulnerability to and accept that I like many, love being involved in groups that match my frequency such as going to a party with a purpose like raising awareness around the increasing worries of synthetic food & Pharma, the awe fullness of deforestation & mass acidification in the environment that are tripling human & natural disasters to health & wellbeing, and the constant grip the government & banks have on usury systems to abstract your hard working efforts to paying for a very dubious accounting game.
I’m an Individual that thanks the crazy way my parents gave me such good bloodlines bathing me in vital organs and intracellular multidimensional factors that stand up for Mother Earth & Father Sky and the movement of fire, wind, water fixed and fusion to earth, metal and ether. That I am elemental and mystical as I remember to dream in my waking up.
I have so many gifts that have frightened me and confused me. Complexity and complimentary are who I am. And so as I look upon the year just gone, I mark my breath with a sigh in-breath and gasp and shake and nod and plod upon the way I went this day.
2017 started then a French trip that blasted me back into my beloved nicotine and weed, coming up to my senses in June, I stopped all things including caffeine, I fell at the hurdle and soon got back in to canoodle with my age old scene back on nicotine, from there on I remember Dark Mountain in Schumacher, Siddington point to point, gay, abandoned, family forging ahead in a fantastic new fam light, jobs forging from apres France working with legends; therapeutic leading to self mastery of saying No, more to come on that one, then old passions returning, the Men start showing their potential for opening my box of love again more to come!
Spain in summer with the ugly ness of shit floating on the Mediterranean that left me poo pooing the effects of our pollution, swimming with bubbles of Brown effluents. Returning straight to the Kemble Train & my darling brothers 50th partayy….followed my lechlade river boating splashing and so much laughing! Onwards to Somerset for walks and much babminton, tor Mandela mystical inward onto a gentle tribal countryside pub Birthday hub, watery themes, Buddha dharma sanga deepest Devon with jimmy Frost and my brother. Separation, investigation, wondering should have I stayed or should have I left. Of which the latter was the choice. Back to carnival and onto the garden party, sparkly, magical, aligned and theatrical. The beautiful people. Into autumn trauma and tribal upheavals for all hands on Dec. Back to
Someerset. And so Campfire, Union Chapel, food festival and fear..introspective as I resound a loud cheer. Lessons for learning. Humility fork attuning. New and old friends returning. Less said better ahead…onwards to the ultimate tests of readressing the past tense, waking up each morning, not reaching for a rollup but rather seeking new old projects for my dreaming to come into the physical plain, not seeking approval, and hanging with well negative people, and dropping my masks revealing my glorious pasts as I present my presence with preceptorial miaisms! Ya!
2018… The doggie gates opening….friends, communities are all reengaging in blasting the old paradigm out into deep space memory as we strive to remember our individual differences are so much more biodiverse and not bland and boring, low sucking and warmongering. Unconditional love to all things present and living, animal cruelty stopped in a nano second, as we all push forward from fear to complete open minded enthusiasm and utterly uniquely passionately driven! Ya on with the revolution for rejecting plastic, intensive chemicals that cause wholesale harming from mental breakdowns to inflammatory cancerous carcinogens, and those creeping feelings of not good enough and scaredy-cat as I hold onto my hat. I should know. I’ve worked hard on my shadowy sides, interpretations and lies, and I can honestly say, as words pour out of me daily, you are your own insider your own choice decider, life is for intrepid and interested journey makers, when you’re blocked look at what feeds you, as my daughter says: when I eat good clean foods, I automatically become in a good place and mood.
Stop getting distracted by the plugged in matrix
Swich off your telly
Go befriend those that are lonely and isolated
Press forward tentatively with your own myths and story telling
Be self caring, loving and open minded
Feel your fear anyway as you laugh and cry everyday
Read good books as you take a good look around your own place and remember you’re ace!
Take off each mask you put on to hide your whose who..,
Inward intracellular multidimensional light walking feather light, indigenous tribe of humanity
Seek to the mountain top
Stop your internal external dry rot
Raise your whole game and think not
Of the sham 69 that the systems Devine’s as sane and bland, boring and unkind. We are not two sides yes or no, in or out, yet the third way is ancient ancestral and authentic
As my father would say: you left the gate open you stupid cow! Ah daddy !
Oh my god I think I’ve written a good blog! Sort of…lol….